spinner

My wheels are spinning

Cognitive load is real

A virtual meeting with 60 colleagues.

But keep your distance, y’all.

Plenty of gratitude and smiles, and a sense of ‘we’re in this together’ fuel me for a while. It’s not the same as being together, in a real room, but it’s better than nothing.

After that, team meetings and planning. All, exclusively, behind the keys, staring, staring, staring at the magic picture box.

We’re focused, productive. We’ve been through this and are getting better at it.

But it’s still exhausting.

I leave my team and take care of my own to dos. Powering through on our video message, first steps modeling a research summative.

The work, when you’re in a classroom with kiddos on the daily, feels endless. When you’re implementing Distance Learning, it actually is.

I’m not great at setting limits. Self care is an after thought as my head still spins. Seconds hurtle into minutes, minutes to hours. I pause, check the time.

Shit, after 4 already

I could push through, keep going, as I do.

But a voice of reason creeps into my head.

Stop spinning

Maybe a ride around the lake

I check the AQI and think better of it.

Instead, I haul the trainer and bicycle upstairs, making a conscious choice to shun any device, even for music. It’s just me and the bike, now. I throw on my Ghana kicks, hop on the rock hard saddle

Is the saddle really that hard or is my behind just too soft

I throw my legs in motion. Slowly but surely I find a rhythm and the sound of the rear wheel against the training guidewheel kicks in, sliding throughout the stairwell

fffzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz fffzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And as I spin my wheels, the sweat glides down my cheeks, grounding me, settling me, bringing my spinning wheels

To a stop.