sad but strong

It’s difficult to be both, at once.

We greet one another and, like always, check in about the mundane. She asks after me, I mention that I’m recovering, been catching up on sleep.

How are you?

She pauses, and her face drops. Glances away and wipes away a single tear

There’s a moment of quiet discomfort, between.

Last week at this time he was here

and I can’t understand why he’s gone

Now, the tears flow.

She had shared the news of his loss and been away from work, but we’d chatted since then.

Sad, but strong.

Today is hitting her differently.

He was going up to the mountain and jumping off with the big…umbrella?

She searches for the word

He jumped but the wind was…

she swirls the air with her arms

His umbrella got twisted around and didn’t open

and now he’s gone

I’m so sorry

It’s okay to be sad

I’m not sure what to offer, apart from a gentle hug and encouragement for her to head home, to rest, to grieve.

He was always a good boy

His sons were looking in the box and saw him lying there, and asking “why is papa there?” “why is papa there?”.

She wipes another tear away.

I need to go

Ok.

Let me know if there’s anything I can do.

And, like that

She puts on her mask and helmet, gently wheels her bike outside the gate

and slides it closed.