On Loss, II

The storm comes on without warning. It is sudden and immediate.

FLASH

Sky

lit, stunning.

I am jolted alert, waking from my sleep walk.

It’s the follow-up that shakes me to the core.

BOOM

Merciless

We go about our business, minding our own, when, of all things – a text message – and a link

to the obituary

Ah, shit

I wish I had seen him one more time

A flash pierces the sky

and lights up his face.

It all feels so far away

But thunder is close to home.

He made people feel seen and heard and he was genuinely interested in them

Yeah he did

---

We grow older

And storms that arrive these early summer days come sudden and swift.

And yet somehow simultaneously provide notice, meander closer, give moments to prep and shelter, scurry home.

How can both those things be true?

Intense summer heat, cresting 40 degrees, begs for a respite.

And respite arrives, with mercy. Clouds gather, cover the sun, and the room gets shady. Notice given, gentle ramping up

It’s said that thunder rolls

But not in Hanoi

Here, it rips, rends, interrupts.

Kind of like aging.

---

We grow older

Move through the world, pursuing, adapting, reaching, and hurting. And, if we’re lucky, evolving to being better.

But weariness and ennui,

merciless,

knocks at our door and we find ourselves suddenly, so suddenly

sleepwalking.

---

Until, we see a flash

G has been going through some serious chemo for lymphoma, awaiting a bone marrow transplant…his partner has been amazing and he’s in decent spirits

BOOM

I’m awake

Back, twenty-plus years, on a rooftop on Capitol Hill, Space Needle and Olympic Mountains in view

and the best, best people

So much laughter

and G is at the heart of it all.

A six-unit apartment building

Just big enough to provide space, still small enough to collide. Reclusive and shy Rat Dog Man hiding on the level, between us all.

We bond over our neighbor, one building over, his habit of cooking in full view wearing only a silk robe open to the world. We giggle over a worry about frying oil splatters, and the most private of parts.

It was early days in for us, but from G, zero Seattle Freeze. He welcomed us, connected with us through food, generosity, gentleness. A blackout was the first moment, sharing our connection over candles and neighborly bottles of wine. He welcomed us in, because of course he did.

What stood out, in addition to his warmth, was his wit. He would make a so sly, so smart comment, and punctuate it with a genuine and well-earned laugh. The guy was ducking funny, and he knew it. Just never in an unkind way.

Always punching up, as good humor does.

I can hear his laugh today

even after so much time away.

Spend time with people who give you joy

First neighbor, then a friend. Generous and compassionate to a fault.

The kind of human we should all aspire to be

---

We get older

So it is said.

Against all odds, we did.

Life snuck up. A move off the hill, our new house, his new restaurant, kids of his own, kids of ours too.

Our meetups became fewer, and farther.

Suddenly, it’s mid-afternoon, and the day has gotten away.

Years have piled up.

We leap: to Ghana, then Vietnam.

Still stop off in Seattle, of course.

And on our brief returns, his restaurant is always there, waiting for us. Still the place we connect with him.

A quick hug and hello. Brief catchup, and off again.

He, the same. Love, and goodness, and warmth.

To his core.

And still, fun and funny as hell. All grown up and then some.

---

We grow older.

Life moves faster.

And we take it all, including people like him, for granted.

---

the flash spans the night sky

blinds, temporarily

pulls me out of my trance

I re-read his obituary

Ah. Shit

---

We grow older.

Until suddenly, sometimes without warning,

we don’t.

---

So.

If you’re young, this may not mean much to you.

If you’re old, maybe it’s a bit too late.

But don’t let life be wasted on you.

Make the ones around you feel better about who they are

The way G did for us.

---

The storm has come and gone

But now

I’m awake.

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