I am searching.

It’s a set of rooms, labyrinthine. I push open one heavy door after another, and find myself wandering in the basement with a singular purpose, clearest intent, but somehow still elusive.




I push my way through yet another set of double doors. The spaces are familiar, sterile, and comfortable. I feel at home here, but I can’t quite place it.

I think this might be B’s place.

I remember these rooms well, but I still can’t find it.




I wander into the next room and see familiar faces. They welcome me, encourage me on my journey, but offer a little in the way of tangible help.




The source of the pinging is still out of reach, and comprehension. So, frustrated but somehow without an air of frustration, I change my tac

I hop into the boat that appears from nowhere.

The moment has shifted.

I couldn’t find it

It’s OK, we don’t always find what we’re looking for.




The vessel navigates waterways nor roads but somehow a combo of both, and I feel us sliding, slipping away. We’re somehow able to continue the journey onward, even on top of just a slick city street.

Is this my hometown?

The mouth of a shark painted on the bow signals our intent




How the hell does this thing still move on a street?

The ride is enjoyable, smooth, comfortable

And yet, I am unsatisfied.

Where are you?

It is at that moment that I wake and hear the sound of the smoke alarm, letting me know, mercilessly, undaunted, at 1:12 in the morning,

it’s time to change the battery.


I sit up, all grog. Unleash the weightiest sigh, and check to see if J is awake.

She is not.

I make my way down the stairs in the dark, this time with only slightly greater clarity

I hope it’s not the one up high

I don’t wanna get the ladder at this time of night

The dark encompasses all. But I know these walls, and this walk.

I make it to the bottom, reach upward to grab this dastardly pinger. And as I fumble with a life-saving device in the dark

I wonder if my dream is metaphor

Nocturnal beacon, guiding me in the direction of something or somewhere new

Or, maybe.

I’m just gonna be tired tomorrow

Published by Radutti

Teaching in Ha Noi, screwing things up daily but surviving to write about it. ...everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

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  1. This was great! I know well that feeling of waking to a noise in the midst of a good dream, how the “ping” is real… this line made me laugh, “I don’t wanna get the ladder at this time of night” – I felt as if I was right there in the dark, debating that ladder, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh no! That’s not what you want to hear in the middle of the night. YIKES!
    My husband changed the smoke alarm batteries about a month ago using generic brand batteries. For the next five days, all of our smoke detectors started beeping. Apparently, they wanted name brand batteries to be happy. {Insert eye roll} The beeping was driving us up the wall so once we fed the detectors name brand batteries all of the beeping stopped!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahah – that’s totally the way those things work. I’m convinced there’s some sort of alliance between battery and smoke detector manufacturers. Glad you got it sorted!


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